The Journey of Child Development by Sklarew Bruce;Sklarew Myra;Sklarew Myra;

Author:Sklarew, Bruce;Sklarew, Myra;Sklarew, Myra; [BRUCE SKLAREW & MYRA SKLAREW]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Taylor & Francis Group
Published: 2011-09-01T00:00:00+00:00

Clinical aspects of narcissism

Overt signs and symptoms

Narcissists at any age show the cardinal combination of pronounced self-centeredness, an exaggerated sense of their own importance, a feeling they are not bound to fulfill the usual social requirements, and an expectation of unique response on the part of whomever they come in contact with. There is often a quality of profound vanity; they see themselves as exceptionally interesting and important. They are special; ordinary rules do not apply. There is often an associated feeling of entitlement, a very intense response to any frustration or disappointment, a profound preoccupation with concerns about shame and humiliation, a total devotion to maintaining an image, and a need to receive attention, recognition, and praise beyond all others. Often there is a very “thin skin” present, a readiness to have their feelings hurt by the most trivial slight and an intensive defensive response to any possible criticism or even question; should this transpire, it is experienced as a loss of face or wound to their dignity. In some instances there are additional complicating factors like the need to make up stories that are substituted for the truth. This redoubtable lying is one of the hallmarks of the condition.

In some instances, youngsters behave in this way when there is no evident need to do so. Despite this, however, not all narcissistic children are antisocial. Many are quiet and retiring, preferring to live in a haze of grandiose fantasy rather than to engage in the painful give and take of the schoolyard. On the other hand, when an antisocial syndrome is present, it usually arises in connection with an associated fixation at a sadistic level of early development. These children may then seek to live out a fantasy of domination, with a need to obtain abject submission from their victims, as a means of validating their grandiose stance.

The play patterns of narcissistic children are often quite striking. They do not cooperate well, and they compete with even less success. It is difficult to cooperate when they want to do all the best, or the easiest, or the most interesting parts of the task and, moreover, feel entitled to do so. It is impossible to compete if only winning is allowed, when they feel it is intolerable to lose and if they insist on cheating where winning is in question. Narcissistic children do not do well with the rules; rules are for others; they should be a privileged exception to the rules—otherwise they feel wounded and misunderstood and are likely either to sulk, withdraw, or explode.

Much depends on the degree of talent or giftedness with which these youngsters are endowed. Thus, children with a knack for music, with an aptitude for gymnastics, or with a high IQ may do striking work in their area of special competence. The hunger for praise is so great that they will work hard and strive mightily to build on their talent to be all the more outstanding. At the same time, they may do little and exert only indifferent effort in areas where they do not excel.

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